The Prodigal Blogger has returned....

Everything was great. He blessed us with his seemingly-endless talent. No one had ever seen such things, and from the most unlikeliest of sources, a 5'10 skinny white guy. There was no question he was the best there is, and then one day, he was gone. Without warning, without rationale, and without a goodbye. He left the industry, and it fell into disarray. Everyone was left thinking: "How can we replace him?" and "When will he come back?"

As time went on, these questions remained unanswered. Rumors of Pneumonia and Drug Abuse swirled. What little hope was left would soon become lost. Dark Times...

And just as the world forgot about him, he emerged once again, but with little fan fare. Privately, he showed his confidants that he's still got "it". He reached out to his closest collaborators, and told them it was time to begin his re-ascension. "When?!" they asked. "As long as nothing leaks, the week of May 18th" he assured them.

As sort of a concession to Will, I promised to note that I am not talking about Eminem, as I am referring to yours truly. I figured it was obvious, but Will said there might be some confusion. That being said, after a few dozen mid-afternoon naps, some heavy, stressful time spent on Xbox Live, and a miraculous 11-game streak on ESPN's Streak for the Cash, I have faithfully decided to return to Shirley, You Can't Be Serious in hopes of salvaging the blogging world while making good on the promise I made to my legions of fans (I will never EVER leave you unless there's money involved). Your dreams have been realized. Please. Don't mention it.

So, the question that remains on everyone's mind, "What's next?" Well, I learned from my first reign, and I now know not to set the bar too high. After all, you still need to be able to reach the bar when you want to adjust it. Thus, I've created the "No Bar" system. (Note: I must make sure to not confuse two of my more dedicated readers Pat and Joe, and let them know that this system refers to a fictional/metaphorical bar, not the type of bar that they spend half of their time and all of their money at. And Joe, there is no free restroom access at the type of bar I'm talking about.) The "No Bar" system means no promises and no expectations. Sure, the 1% of the world's population that refers to themselves as "Chuck's Detractors" are probably calling an emergency meeting at a conveniently-located Applebee's, and I'm sure that in between bites of half-price appetizers, they are saying "Oh boy, that darned Chuck has struck again! No bar system? That's just propaganda to justify sporadically updating his blog." So, I will take the time just once to address my detractors and their apparent dissatisfaction with my "No Bar System"....

In your haste, you predictably focused on the negative, and I now ask you to put down your 20 oz. Hateamin Water and listen to what I have to say. I removed the bar so, quite simply..... my blogs can fly as high as my dreams. Namaste.

(In my last 10 words, I made references to both LOST and The Office. Don't call it a comeback!)