For the most part, I've kept pretty quiet about my disdain for "He's Just Not that into You" in the past two weeks. All the while, it has been performing extremely well at the box office including a debut at #1 in its opening weekend. Lately, though, I've heard about more people seeing the movie, and quite frankly, I can't take it anymore. It probably boils down to me just not fully understanding the opposite sex, I mean, after all, I saw "Rocky Balboa" on opening night. What bothers me is that there are five best picture nominees currently playing, and that doesn't even include films like "Gran Torino" and "The Wrestler." So, why would anyone choose to pay $10.50 to see this piece of garbage? I just don't know...So, the question remains, what can I do about it? There is only one answer, and that answer is to welcome the cast of He's just not that into you to the premiere edition of a new recurring feature here at SYCBS called "Boom! Roasted!" It is only right that I steal an idea from The Office and apply it to the cast of a movie that was actually directed by one of The Office's best directors, Ken Kwapis. Furthermore, Boom! Roasted! will allow me to say mean things about people I don't actually know in a playful way because really, that's what blogging is all about right? So without further ado, I welcome you to Boom! Roasted!: The Cast of "He's Just Not That Into You" Edition.
Ginnifer Goodwin: I had to look up your IMDB page just to find out who you were. Everyone hated you in Walk the Line, and nobody watches Big Love. Boom. Roasted.
Bradley Cooper: I like crab cakes and football, but not you. Michael Jordan was funnier hosting SNL than you were. Boom. Roasted.
Jennifer Connelly: You followed up Blood Diamond with The Day The Earth Stood Still and this piece of crap. Also, Celebrity Sleuth named you the #14 Sexiest Woman..... 0f 1993. Boom. Roasted.
Justin Long: You're not the next Vince Vaughn, I wouldn't date Drew Barrymore, and everyone thinks you're gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). Boom. Roasted.
Scarlett Johansson: You were in Home Alone 3. Boom. Roasted.
Kevin Connolly: Nobody would watch Entourage without Jeremy Piven. I thought you were dying and the Make-A-Wish foundation intervened when I heard about your Golden Globe nomination. TGI Friday's no longer has booster seats. Nicky Hilton. Boom. Roasted.
Drew Barrymore: Your last 3 movies: Music and Lyrics. Beverly Hills Chihuahua, He's just not that into you. You should know that Adam Sandler has taken you off his buddy list. Also, you deserved Glenn Gulia. Boom. Roasted.
Ben Affleck: The two most precious things in your life, Matt Damon and the city of Boston, both pretend not to know you anymore. Boom. Roasted.
Jennifer Aniston: Angelin... I can't. You're awesome. What are you doing with these losers?
Posts
